“Can you cook?”
That was the opening line a guy sent me on an online dating site this week. I had to blink a few times and rub my eyes to make sure I was reading it correctly. But yes, there it was- those three words constituted his start to our conversation.
Of course, as a feminist, I did not appreciate the question. I replied, “Can you?” to which he replied, “It’s not my job.” Well, that did it; I was officially pissed off. I went off on him in a calm but aggressive manner. He didn’t reply.
You might think this is a one-time occurrence, but it seems that there are many males who feel that it is a woman’s responsibility to excel at domestic tasks in a relationship. Just look at all the memes that suggest women should be good cooks in order to be desirable to a man. Unfortunately, many don’t realize the danger in doing so.
We have just started 2016, and women are still being held hostage by the gender roles of more than a century ago. You would think that in an election year that has a viable female candidate, outdated gender roles would have no place in society. Yet it seems that we are regressing. Because women finally have a voice, many have been trying to hold us back from pursuing any societal accomplishment that will leave us on equal footing with the men in our lives.
Can I be honest with you? I am so sick and tired of having to fight off sexist, misogynistic comments from guys who think it’s funny to provoke me. People wonder why I’m not married yet. Chances are, if he is accomplished, intelligent, and funny, he doesn’t want someone like me who is more ambitious and driven. So many men want a woman who will stay a few steps behind him, or at the very most be right next to him. But what I need is a man not afraid to let me go far ahead- way far ahead of him- and what’s more, he’ll be proud to watch me go.
When people ask me what I want in a man, I tell them it’s simple: I want someone who will support me in all my endeavors, just as I will support him. Long gone are the days where a woman gives up her career to move where the man lives. Gone are the days where she abandons her future goals to tend to her husband’s career. No, nowadays there needs to be mutual respect on both parties in order to have a successful relationship.
Being able to have a relationship with someone who supports you is one of the best feelings (or so I’ve heard!). In a way, it’s like living two separate, single lives- but together. Yes that probably won’t make much sense to you, but think about it. Each person will live their life in a carefree way, but with the love and emotional support from someone like-minded.
Some people may call me selfish. Actually, many people do. Yet no one ever calls the male selfish when he wants to focus on his goals and provide for his family. Why not extend the same respect to women who have the same goals? I’ll tell you why. Because society is afraid of progression. They are afraid that if they let women do what they want- which we deserve- then society will crumble. Yet the solution is so simple. Men should carry some of the weight off women’s shoulders in order to create a balance.
Give it up people- this is the future. It’s easier to just give in at this point. And women will never truly progress without the support of our male allies.