This isn’t going to be a nice post- not like any of mine usually are. But I am pretty wound up, and I’m feeling a rant coming on. So I, of course, want to share it with you, my loyal followers.
Every article about relationships lately seems to focus on the f*ckboys. You know these types of guys- the ones who seemingly use women just for sex, but mask it as a deep interest in her in order to achieve their goal. They act so sweet and understanding, and after they get what they want, they disappear. We hate these guys, right? They’re scum; they don’t deserve our time. So we dial up our girlfriends and rant. We cry and swear we are never going to talk to another guy like that. We promise each other to alert the other when they start to fall under their very effective spells. We take a deep breath, and vow to only go for nice guys from now on.
But…what if the nice guys are just as bad as the f*ckboys?
And trust me on this. They can be. Because while a typical jerk will make it known he only wanted you for the sex, a nice guy will pretend he doesn’t want it. But he does. Yes. He. Does.
The nice guy will try and talk you off the ledge after a jerk has hurt you. He will claim that you are too good for that kind of treatment, and that you need to stick to guys who truly care about you. Like him! He will tell you that you can open up to him, and tell him anything. He is your friend and shoulder to cry on. He will ask you to let down those walls so he can slide in and offer comfort, while secretly plotting his deceiving move. He gets you to trust him. He’s one of the “girls” so “tell me anything.”
So you do. You feel lucky to have someone like him in your life. You thank him and tell him just that. After a while though, the conversations start to shift. They’re starting to sound like the texts you get from f*ckboys. “Send me a pic” he says. And you’re confused because you don’t understand why he’s asking. You ask as much, and he says that he’s different, because obviously he’s spent months putting you back together after the last heartbreak. But when you refuse, he gets mad. He tries to make you feel guilty.
He asks again, and you still refuse. Now he’s angry. He starts accusing you of not trusting him. He points out how you sent pics to other guys who weren’t as deserving as him. You’re shocked at this behavior, and tell him as much. He stops talking to you for a few days, then comes back and asks again. Now you are angry. No longer confused. Because a pattern has started to develop. And the guy whom you thought was nice, is actually a f*uckboy himself.
Except this is worse. Because he played it off like he was a “nice” guy, but nice guys don’t do this. At least I don’t think they do. Right? Well, maybe they do. Maybe there is no such thing as an actual “nice” guy. Because at the end of the day, they all act the same, don’t they?
Nice guys just take a little longer to get there.