Stalker Problems

by jdeena

I’m sure you’ve all missed my matchmaking stories….it’s only been a couple weeks after all. Remember the guy in my last post? The one my dad showed me that night I got home from work? Well, I met him. Let me replay our conversation so you can be as uncomfortable as I was.  

Saturday night I was starting to do my closing duties at the restaurant. I had been through the longest day ever. My sister graduated college, but since my dad wanted to attend the ceremony I worked all day. My family was out celebrating all day while I was stuck at work. I couldn’t wait to finish up and head over to my cousin’s house for a small party for my sister.  

At 8:45, this guy walks in. I walk over to the deli, greeting him as I do all my customers. But something seems a bit….off. He’s staring at me, but that’s not what is unsettling. Usually customers will hold eye contact with me until I reach them, but they respond to my greeting as well. This guy, however, did not. He was just staring. So I ask him what I can help him with, and he just leers. I swear, that’s not an exaggeration. He is looking at me the same way I assume I look at food after a day of working hard. Which was how I was feeling at that moment. I was hungry, tired, and in no mood to deal with a creeper.  

Finally, he spoke. “I’m here to get to know you.” I looked at him with fear, disgust, and probably wariness. I said, “um, who are you?” because it seemed like he thought I should know who he was. Which I didn’t.  He then went on to say that he had talked to my dad recently and that my dad had sent him to see me. With every horrifying word that passed his lips, I became angrier with my dad. I was a ball of fury. I looked at the guy and told him that I didn’t know who he was and I had work to do before we closed. He asked my to sit with him for five minutes to talk, and I told him that I didn’t know him so no, I wouldn’t sit with him. All this time, he’s continuing to stare at me in that unsettling way.  

Finally, I told him to leave, because he just didn’t get it. He didn’t even seem fazed- he said that my dad had his number and that I should contact him once I talked to my dad. Yea, sure, whatever buddy. As soon as he left, I called my dad, barely containing my anger. I told him what happened, and he seemed genuinely shocked. He swore he never told the guy to come see me, and that he explained to him that I wasn’t interested and that I was moving in a few weeks. The guy asked what I did in the meantime, and my dad mentioned me working at the restaurant. But my dad SWEARS he never told him to come see me. So that made me even more disturbed by this; the guy basically stalked me. What the hell!  

I was fuming when I got to my cousin’s house, and she asked me what was wrong. So I told her. Her response was that I was harsh and rude, and that I shouldn’t have reacted that way, that the guy was coming in to get to know me and there was nothing wrong with that. She likened it to someone approaching a girl at the Starbucks they frequent. Well, that to me is different, because you have actually interacted with that person over a period of time. You have not stalked them at their place of work and used “I’m here to get to know you” as you’re opening line!  

I called a guy friend of mine that night on my way home and asked him if that was normal behavior. He laughed at first because apparently my story amused him….but once he was done chuckling he agreed that it was unusual and very disturbing for a guy to approach a girl that way. I felt validated in my reaction then, because honestly, it threw me off guard. I don’t mind a guy approaching me; in fact, I’ve had a lot of my customers ask me out after they’ve been in a few times. But their approach has always been respectful and conversational.  

Let’s just hope this guy got the hint and he doesn’t show up again at the restaurant. I kind of have the feeling that he might. And if he does, I can’t be held responsible for what happens. (Kidding. Sort of.)

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