Thoughts

by jdeena

Here I am, lying in bed watching Friends and back at the writing thing. I’ve missed it. To be honest, it’s the only place in life I can truly be myself and voice my true opinions. On here, I can hide (somewhat) behind my pen name.

For the last 4 months I have been traveling through seven states for work. I absolutely love my new job as a trainer for Best Buy. I am out of Toledo and I can experience the culture and character of multiple cities. What’s nice is that I finally have time for myself. I have been able to reconnect with friends around the country and make some new ones along the way. I have enjoyed cuisine from all over, shopped at some amazing stores, and attended fulfilling cultural events.

However, with all that has changed, one thing has remained constant. No matter how successful I have become, somewhere deep down inside is the rooted uncertainty that I am still missing something. Every class that I teach there is  always the question of my status. Am I single? Am I married? Why am I single? Have I ever been engaged? When I visit family in the areas I travel to, they always ask me when I will settle down. It is like a never-ending plague that follows me wherever I go.

It doesn’t get much better when I come home. My parents ask me (specifically my dad) if I have met anyone while on the road. Because of course there are stores at the malls I shop at in my free time that have the ideal man displayed in all different styles…

If only it were that easy.

The thing is, I am very happy with my job right now. I am the happiest I have been in years. I finally feel that I found something I can excel at. This job allows me to utilize my most prized talents (public speaking, being social, motivating) and combine it with my favorite hobbies (travel, food, shopping). So why ruin all that by complicating things with a relationship? For once I have clear direction on my career path and I refuse to let anything get in the way of it.

I’m sure some sort of partnership is in my future, but as of now I am enjoying what I do. It is also not easy to maintain a relationship while on the road so much, and I know it will take a very special and understanding guy to accommodate that. So for now, I will allow those questions and inquiries to roll off my back as I move forward with all my endeavors, like starting up this blog again, working on my book, and continuing to travel the country and enjoy new experiences.
Because remember, you should never settle for what is; come tomorrow it will be what was.

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