The ground is cold, as she lies there shivering. Cold.
Arms wrapped around her for warmth, she sits in a puddle of sorrow.
Raw and vulnerable, she shields her body from passers-by.
Her long hair covers her face, painted with shame and despair.
Her cries for help unanswered, she waits for an angel.
Squeezing her eyes tight, she thinks of what her life was.
Love filled with hope, wrapping her in security.
Safe from hurt, away from pain.
Time has been cruel, life unkind.
Tears silently stream down her face.
The horror of it all clenching her stomach.
A shudder runs through her, making her cry out.
Still people pass her by.
What can she do?
Who can she turn to?
Help is unattainable.
Despair is inevitable.
As she sits and waits for death to come.
Arms wrapped around her for warmth.
I remember when I was young and hearing about Mother Teresa for the first time. I thought she was such a phenomenal humanitarian, and it amazed me how one person could move people from all over the world with her selfless actions. I aspired to be like her as I was growing up; I helped out at soup kitchens, volunteered for local community events, and adopted a highway through my local mosque that we cleaned up twice a year.
Mother Teresa was the the epitome of a charitable person. She spent her whole life helping others regardless of race, religion, or creed. The love she had in her heart was pure; untainted from biases and racism. She saw everyone equally and sought to truly help who she could while maintaining a minimalist lifestyle. I wish I had the strength for that.
I know that after I die, I want to leave a legacy. I don’t care how big it is, I just want people to remember me for something. Something good. I feel that so far in life I have made the right strides to achieve that goal. Writing has helped me gain exposure, and when I finish my book I hope that it will touch people’s lives and inspire them.
It comes as no surprise, then, that I am thrilled when I receive touching emails from employees in my classes that tell me how much I have inspired them. Especially the females. When I took on this role, my manager told me that I would have a lot of people look up to me, especially minorities and females, but I didn’t believe him. It is so true though! I have girls come up to me all the time impressed with a female minority working for corporate, representing the company across the country. I never really realized how important my role was until I received an email two weeks ago from a girl in the Chicago market. The following is an excerpt from her email, which moved me to tears:
“Right before induction training, I had a horrible day at work. After that day, I felt like I finally just couldn’t keep working towards a goal that was never going to get accomplished. I was really ready to give up on trying to become supervisor, and putting in all the extra work that I felt was just a waste of time. After hearing your story, I am re-inspired to keep trying. You have given me the motivation to keep putting in the extra work and continuing with my top sales numbers. It gives me hope to see another female who is now in an amazing position with in the company. Especially when I feel as a woman, that I am the minority.”
I can’t believe that with just a few words I was able to completely turn around the attitude of a fellow employee. This is what makes me love my job. Not the money, not the traveling, or the recognition from my corporate bosses. I love the fact that on a daily basis, I can inspire and motivate women to feel confident and strong enough to push for success in life.
Being a female in corporate America is not easy. As a minority, especially a Muslim Arab woman, it is even harder. I am fortunate enough to work for an amazing company that supports me and embraces my culture. It affords me the opportunities to use my uniqueness in my trainings to inspire and bring hope to others. I am truly blessed.
All I pray for is that when I die, I will be remembered for something great. That people will think of me and say that I did good. That those who move on to be successful will remember how I helped them and use that to help others. Kindness is contagious; if we continue to pay it forward we all can leave a little legacy behind.
She cries. She falls. She picks herself off the ground.
She stands. She strolls. She holds her head up high.
They point. They stare. They whisper words so cruel.
They laugh. They lie. They cut so deep.
In a world filled with love, she is surrounded by clouds of hate.
In a life filled with hope, her dreams are dashed by fate.
Who cares? Who knows? Who will be there?
Who listens? Who stands? Who will answer?
She smiles through the tears.
She walks through the flames.
Her skin made of ice.
A heart made of stone.
She laughs. She smiles. She walks on by.
You wonder. You sneer. You criticize.
In the end, she will survive.
Your words, your fear, will have no place.
She will succeed. She will thrive.
Here I am, lying in bed watching Friends and back at the writing thing. I’ve missed it. To be honest, it’s the only place in life I can truly be myself and voice my true opinions. On here, I can hide (somewhat) behind my pen name.
For the last 4 months I have been traveling through seven states for work. I absolutely love my new job as a trainer for Best Buy. I am out of Toledo and I can experience the culture and character of multiple cities. What’s nice is that I finally have time for myself. I have been able to reconnect with friends around the country and make some new ones along the way. I have enjoyed cuisine from all over, shopped at some amazing stores, and attended fulfilling cultural events.
However, with all that has changed, one thing has remained constant. No matter how successful I have become, somewhere deep down inside is the rooted uncertainty that I am still missing something. Every class that I teach there is always the question of my status. Am I single? Am I married? Why am I single? Have I ever been engaged? When I visit family in the areas I travel to, they always ask me when I will settle down. It is like a never-ending plague that follows me wherever I go.
It doesn’t get much better when I come home. My parents ask me (specifically my dad) if I have met anyone while on the road. Because of course there are stores at the malls I shop at in my free time that have the ideal man displayed in all different styles…
If only it were that easy.
The thing is, I am very happy with my job right now. I am the happiest I have been in years. I finally feel that I found something I can excel at. This job allows me to utilize my most prized talents (public speaking, being social, motivating) and combine it with my favorite hobbies (travel, food, shopping). So why ruin all that by complicating things with a relationship? For once I have clear direction on my career path and I refuse to let anything get in the way of it.
I’m sure some sort of partnership is in my future, but as of now I am enjoying what I do. It is also not easy to maintain a relationship while on the road so much, and I know it will take a very special and understanding guy to accommodate that. So for now, I will allow those questions and inquiries to roll off my back as I move forward with all my endeavors, like starting up this blog again, working on my book, and continuing to travel the country and enjoy new experiences.
Because remember, you should never settle for what is; come tomorrow it will be what was.